Lonely Moments

I want to talk today about lonely moments in my childhood where I was lonely that led me to be depressed and suicidal. I want to say this first, I don't blame anyone for my loneliness, It was a place I put myself. But what I want to talk about is what happened in those lonely moments.

I would sit in my room and ponder my life. Why I was on this earth. What purpose I had. I would begin cutting myself, hurting myself trying to make the pain in my mind go away. In these moments the enemy would tell me lies that I began to believe, which had a major influence on my self esteem. Did I fight off the enemy? No I believed the lies and brought them to fruition in my life. I'm sure the devil sat back with a smile on his face, arms crossed saying "I have her where I want her" and that he did for quite some time. I lived in the lies that I was ugly, fat, and someone no one liked and would be better off dead.

In those lonely times I spent my time trying to find love in all the wrong places. I just needed to feel a void of love that I didn't have. Which put me deeper in a whole of darkness and regret!

What am I trying to get at here? Self pity...absolutely not! What I want to make you aware of is this:

”Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.“

‭‭I Peter‬ ‭5‬:‭8‬-‭9‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Don't put yourself in those lonely moments. You need a person or group of people who you need to have so that when you get in that mental state you can call them up and tell them you need help.

I am thankful for my Savior Jesus who I can always run to if I feel lonely. He wraps His loving arms around me and He will do the same for you.